Date Night

Date night is detrimental to my health. Without it, I become one frantic momma on the edge. I took date night for granted before my children were born, but now, it's a crucial tool my husband uses to maintain my sanity.

A typical date night is the usual, dinner and a movie. 

Dinner, because it's important I eat a meal once in awhile, free of hovering children waiting for the opportunity to put their fingers in my food.  Why do they have to touch my food?  I haven't the slightest clue.  They don't put their little fingers in my husband's food...ever.  

A movie, because it's a luxury to sit and watch anything from start to finish without explaining what's happening, travel five times to the bathroom, or listen to Rio give us his play by play narration.

"Don't you feel guilty..." people ask,  "leaving your children so you can go out?"

My answer is always the same...HELL NO!

Amaya

 Amaya's a girl who's thinks three meals ahead. Before breakfast, she's requesting dinner. At dinner, she's planning  lunch. At lunch, she's worried about breakfast. And snacks... snacks can cause a real migraine.

"Mom, what meat do we have in the freezer?" It's a question asked every morning while picking through her cereal.

"Why Amaya?" Is the common response, but I already know where the conversation is headed.

"I was thinking...maybe we can have spaghetti tonight?" Her most common request.

"Can we finish one meal before we plan the next?" I usually plead with frustration.

Amaya will nod her head, but the worried look on her face always says different.

"Have I ever forgot to feed you?" I try to remind her she's never gone without a meal.

For an incredibly picky child, she sure is worried that she won't get to eat. If it were up to her she would live on spaghetti, tuna, and avocados.

After breakfast, like clockwork, Rio will find me.

"Can we have spaghetti tonight?" Rio asks.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "You hate spaghetti. Remember?"

"Oh...well, Amaya told me to ask," he'll confess.

"Amaya!" I yell through the house. "Quit sending Rio to do your dirty work!"

Kid Cuisine

I used to love to cook, but lately...I have to admit, cooking isn't my top priority. So I let my kids make dinner last night. But really, they insisted on helping and then took over. 

Amaya did the potatoes and Rio was in charge of the griddle.

"Mom! I'm bleeding!" Amaya panicked. "It stings! It stings, it stings, it stings." 

"Stop being so dramatic. Go get a band aid," I told her.

"Rio! Go get me a band aid," she ordered.

"No...you go get it!" he responded back. "You're not dying!"

The second Amaya left the sink, Rio was in her spot, peeling her potatoes. Amaya came back to the kitchen to find her little brother doing her job.

"Mom!  He's in my spot!"  she protested. "Fine, Rio...I'm going to do your job then."  She tried to control the situation. "Rio, where's the spatula?" she demanded, holding out her hand.

Rio didn't answer, he just kept quietly peeling the potatoes. This infuriated her.

"Rio, the hamburger patties are burning! I have to flip them! Mauuuuum..."

"Someone please flip the patties," I demanded.

"Rio, don't use that!" Amaya bossed. "Mom he hid the spatula on the floor, under the cabinets...gross."

"What?" Rio answered the look I shot him, while he wiped the spatula off on the front of his shirt.

"Wash it," I told him. "We don't use cooking utensils that have been on the ground."

The end result. Well done hamburger patties, unevenly cooked potatoes, burnt corn, and a gallon of lumpy gravy. 

"Why does my stomach hurt so bad?" My husband moaned after our chefs were in bed.

I cited the obvious. This could do wonders for our waistlines.

.

Socks Are Required

I'm the last person on earth to criticize someone for thinking that the rules don't apply to them.  Rules are made to be broken!  I believe this.  Common sense is another story.

At McDonald's today my mom and I sat next to the glass separating us from the play structure.  Partly because the lack of tables inside, but it was more due to the aroma of food mingled with the smell of sweat and feet.

Rio came to the table and I snapped.  "WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS?!"  His eyes got big...he was caught.  "Go put them on right now!"  I hoped the ten second rule still applied.

Then my mom pointed out a dozen other children not wearing socks either.  Then she took the hand sanitizer from her purse and placed it on the table.

"It's so he can run up the slide,"  Amaya tattles.

"Well, you aren't supposed to go up the slide,"  my mom reminds her.

Unbelievable!  Don't those mothers care?  Do they not know why that rule is in place?  I'm horrified (and I'm okay if Rio eats dirt).  There's really no excuse when they sell socks at the counter for one dollar.

The "socks are required" sign wasn't posted by the fun police trying to ruin their day.  It's a rule that is posted for people who lack common sense.

Now I have to go Lysol my kids!

Pulling Teeth

"Mom I think I'm having a tooth problem."  Amaya said as she rubbed her right cheek.

"Why is that?"  I asked.

"Because I have another loose tooth... and I don't know if it should be." She continued to rub her cheek.

"I told you to brush more or your teeth are going to fall out of your head." I teased her.  "Come here.  Let me see." I said as I waved her closer.

"Don't touch it!"  She backed away.

"I won't." I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.  I had her open up her mouth so she could show me and I reassured her that it was fine.  "It barely wiggles, it's not ready." 

"It hurts."  She complained.

"You'll be fine." I told her.

"Well... all I'm really worried about is my eating." She explained.

"Amaya you're not going to starve!" I told her.

I gave her some Motrin for the pain then had the kids brush their teeth and go to bed. 

Twenty minutes later I heard a grunting scream coming from the bathroom.  I opened the door and there was Amaya holding her tooth in her hand leaning over the sink.

"Why won't it stop bleeding?" She started to panic.

"Amaya!  It's because it wasn't ready to come out. Oh my gosh look at the hole!"

"But I can eat right?"  She asked. 

Unbelievable.