Monday, February 8, 2010
"This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You"
It's true! This hurts me more than it hurts you. It is so much easier to say yes than say no. When my children want something, it is difficult for me not to give it to them and it is even harder to discipline them. Naturally I want to have happy children and it feels good knowing their happiness is a direct result of my superb parenting. And when I see potential unhappiness in their eyes, there is an instinctive urge to give into them, fix their problem, excuse their behavior and make it all better. But parenting isn't about making easy choices, it's about making tough ones. I know that coddling only gives them temporary happiness that is followed with them expecting to always have their way. This isn't doing them any favors in the long run. So as heart wrenching as it is and no matter how unnatural it feels I try not to take the easy way out. It is my job to make the tough decisions. As my parents said to me, I now say to my children, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." Because sometimes parenting seems impossible.
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If you fix every problem for your children then you are not being a good parent. Parenting is about teaching your children how to problem solve, love, empathy, responsibilities and so much more. Your job as a parent is not to just have fun with your children, but prepare them for life when they are grown. Those parents who prepare their children have done their job as a parent. At some point you can only do so much. They will sink or swim and you will always be there to pick them back up. The choices in life that are the hardest to make often are the most rewarding in the end.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts me more than it hurts you......Parenting and teaching or leading is all the same just different approches...same result..building a person out of a non-person..
ReplyDeletePoint them in the right direction, gice them help as needed BUT do not do for them......if it means taking away from them that which you gave them do it..will they like you NO..will they respect you later YES...never out of meaness..fair..even..consistant...but alway out of concern and love..teach..show..evaluate....learn.....
AGAIN your uncle Doug