Thursday, May 5, 2011

Whose Dog Peed on my Lawn?

I've been watering the brown spots on my lawn for the past two weeks like a crazy person.

"Come look at this!" I demanded, dragging my husband to the front yard to inspect the grass.  "Someone's been letting their dog pee all over our lawn."

"What the..." my husband stated.

"There's one...two...three...four...five," I paced across the front yard pointing each one out. "There's like 30 brown spots!" I ranted.

"I wonder which neighbor it is?" he asked.

The kids immediately shared their suspicions. They accused the old man down the street with the two chihuahuas, the lady who jogs at night with her black lab, another neighbor with one white dog and one brown dog, and a wiener dog that was ruled out because it's too fat to waddle up the grassy slope to pee.  All other dogs and owners however, were suspects.

"When I find out who's doing this, I'm walking Max down to their house so he can pee on their lawn." I declared.

The kids helped by setting up look out posts to catch the peeing perpetrator. 

"DOG!" Rio yelled. "Don't let your dog pee on my moms grass." Rio warned people when they passed our house, as Amaya ran to the front corner to watch dog and owner until they were clear of our property.

"Nope, it's not them!" Amaya reported.

Then while watering yesterday I noticed something odd in the center of one of our many dead patches of grass. A shriveled up, dead weed. That's when it hit me. I called my husband out front to discuss the yard.

"You know the dogs that have been destroying our lawn?" I hinted.

"Yeah, what about them?" he asked.

"It's not dogs at all," I informed him. "It's you!"

"Me?" he asked as if I was accusing him of peeing on our lawn.

"A couple weeks ago, you sprayed weed killer around the sidewalks and planters..." I tried to trigger his memory. "Did you happen to use it on the weeds in the lawn also?"

"Oh, that's right I did," he admitted, laughing. "I forgot!"

"You do realize it says weed and grass killer on the bottle?" I asked.

He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Apparently the joke's on me.


  1. LMAO! I really needed the laugh! Your husband's too funny...

  2. I'm laughing visualizing Amaya and Rio strategically crouched behind the patio wall, binoculars and walkie talkies in hand, scanning the horizon for potential incoming threats, reporting back to headquarters, and keeping the Homeland safe! If I pay them, will they keep a watch out for my lawn too? The dogs seem to drop a bit more than water bombs on mine.


  3. haha so funny....that Orlando! Cracks me up!!

  4. I can just picture this. Priceless!

  5. Simply great! So typical of a hubby :)

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  7. I just LOVE how you turn your posts into narratives...makes it so entertaining to read and is no doubt why you have a lot of readers.

  8. Darn men! And they think we're just cranky for the fun of it. I believe it's a conspiracy.

  9. Ouch. I'm imagining that poor suspicious chihuahua shaking with fear and gathering his friends, the black lab and the fat wiener over so they can all growl at your husband. LOL.
    Thanks for the smiles.

  10. Good! glad it's your hubby making the spot. It couldn't be me because Mummsy trained me to go to the gutter for my pees. But, I still prefer the upstairs bathroom.

    Very Truly Yours,
    Sir Poops-A-Lot

  11. Ha! Sometimes men are such air heads:) My husband has done this exact thing too. Gotta love em:)

  12. You're a great storyteller! So you know, I've enjoyed many a' posts.

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    Baby Talk without the Babble

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  14. you think it's the weed killer,but itwas really my dog....mwa=ha--ha!!
    following from the Blog Entourage weekend hop!

  15. Men. You gotta love or make sure you get rid of all the evidence when you're finished. lol

  16. Don't sell him too short, I bet he wanted the whole yard dead so he didn't have to mow it anymore. Smart man. He may have said "Oops!" but he's thinking "Dammit..."

  17. I've made that mistake before, too, don't worry. I think it's pretty common. And I definitely would have thought it was a dog (although that would have be a pretty big dog from the picture...) I guess it's time to stock up on grass seeds! :)

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