Web MD Addict

I can't be trusted alone with the Internet, and I can't be trusted not to look up random symptoms on Web MD.  I need an intervention.  Hello.  My name is Nikki, and I am an addict.

I find myself frequently in the position of using our family doctors as the second opinion.

When Amaya was a baby, she had weekly check-ups to have her head measured because her doctor thought her head was shrinking.  No explanation.  I thought, "Is that possible, can that happen?"  So of course I had to Google it.  Turns out the nurse measured wrong.  Good thing.

When my husband went through his fainting phase.  The doctor said, "It happens."  No explanation.  So again, I Googled it.  Turns out, in some people pain triggers shock.  The bigger they are the harder they fall.  Oh, and believe me, I have stories.

When teacher's were concerned Rio had ADHD.  I wasn't having it.  Where did I turn.  First the Internet, then the doctor. Apparently high energy is a symptom of many mental illnesses.  The final diagnosis...he's a boy.

When my doctor told me I had Lupus.  Pretty much out of the blue!  It was all I could do.  Every time I passed the office, I had to look it up.  Searching for a different explanation.  Link by link.  Turns out he was wrong also. 

There's just one thing, with every problem I solve, the Internet gives me three more possible illnesses I never considered.  Brain tumors, cancer, and PTSD. 

Boy, do doctors love me.

Warning! Avoid Alcoholic Beverages

Illness came suddenly.  Attacking Rio early this morning.  First it was his stomach, then his head, then his ear, and now his throat.  He is running a slight fever and tears roll down his face when sharp pains travel through his right ear.  The doctor's office isn't open until Monday.  So I am a prisoner all weekend.

I go through the medicine cabinet looking for something to ease his pain. 

I find Children's Motrin.  Expired 5/2009
I find ear drops left from a previous infection.  Expired  6/2007
I find decongestant.  Expired 6/2010
I find Tylenol.  Expired 1/2010

As a matter of fact, half of everything in the medicine cabinet is expired.  So I have to bundle up the kids, load them in the car and take a trip to the drug store.

I fill my cart with Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and Children's Dimetapp.   As most parents do before buying medication to give to their children, I read the active ingredients, drug warnings, and drug facts on the side panels.  One was more interesting than the others.

Children's Dimetapp

-avoid alcoholic beverages
-alcohol, sedatives, and tranquilizers may increase drowsiness
-be careful when driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery

I thought,"Good thing they included that warning."  I was going to give Rio a bottle of wine and then let him drive us home. 

Seriously!

It's Just Blood

My husband gets hurt and the whole world stops.  So the kids and I dropped everything to take him to the doctor.  We arrived in the medical office building and the kids were doing running jump kicks off the walls, twirling and rolling on the floor. I'm sure I had judgmental parents rolling their eyes behind my back pleading for me to control my children.  But I was too tired to care.

We entered the elevator, which started an immediate fight over who gets to push the button. 

"Me!"

"No, me."

"NO ME!"

Rio wins, a victory that had to be rubbed in his sister's face. We stepped out onto the second floor and my kids took off in opposite directions before realizing my husband and I were not behind them. 

I decided it was a good time to go take care of my overdue blood work and drag my children with me, to save my husband from the headache I foresaw of the him being stuck in a tiny white room with two rambunctious children.  I've been there, I know. 

Rio was getting nervous.  "They're going to steal your blood Mom?" He asked.

"No, I'm going to let them borrow it."  I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

He looked at me puzzled trying to figure out how that would  work...I ignored him.

I sat down in the chair and gave my arm to the nurse and Rio was gone. I coaxed  him out from hiding behind a chair.  He was so nervous, it made me anxious.

"Can't I go with Dad?"  He asked, clearly not wanting anything to do with this.

I told him, "No this is fine.  It's not a big deal, it's just blood. It doesn't even hurt. Watch."

His face was pale and I couldn't resist.  As the nurse slipped the needle into my skin... I SCREAMED!  Rio jumped and the look of panic on his face, priceless.  He wasn't amused but the nurses obviously had an appreciation for a good joke.

"I'm just kidding buddy." I apologized.

"I'm not talking to you ever again." He vowed.

It was time to go and Rio broke, "Mom, can we take the elevator?"

Darn, I really could of used some peace and quiet.