Homework

Helping my kids with their homework isn't my best skill. I get bored staring, page after page at subject lessons that are elementary to me. My husband says it's my been there done that attitude. Maybe, but I think it's more of a I hate repeating myself thing.  I blame Amaya.

"What letter is this Amaya?"  I asked while helping her with one of her homework packets in kindergarten.

"I don't know?"  She answered shrugging her shoulders.

"It's the letter 'D'..." I stressed. "Now you tell me, what letter is this?" I pointed to the letter.

"B?"  She questioned.

"No. It's the letter D," I sighed. "Write the letter ten times," I said as I handed her the pencil.

We repeated the above steps over and over.  Each time Amaya guessed a different random letter.  Nothing worked.  She mentally blocked out the letter "D". 

Two years of preschool! What a waste of money!

My husband came home to find us both in tears, crying. He kindly took over and earned his very first gray hair.

I was so relieved!
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Gift Cards

Gift cards....what's not to love? They're little credit cards with positive balances. I love them?

The drawback is, I hold onto them forever.  I save them for when I really want something.  The thing is, I never really want anything. So I set them aside for in case.  In case what?  The heck if I know.

"You need to spend these!" My husband ordered pointing to my rubber banded card assortment in the closet.

"Why?" I asked. "They won't expire."

"Target! You were just there, you should of used this," he said as he thumbed through my gift card collection.

"Oh..I forgot I had that one..." I played dumb.

"Put these in your purse so you have them on you." He handed the stack to me.  "You can't spend them if they're locked up."

I kind of thought that was the point.
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Web MD Addict

I can't be trusted alone with the Internet, and I can't be trusted not to look up random symptoms on Web MD.  I need an intervention.  Hello.  My name is Nikki, and I am an addict.

I find myself frequently in the position of using our family doctors as the second opinion.

When Amaya was a baby, she had weekly check-ups to have her head measured because her doctor thought her head was shrinking.  No explanation.  I thought, "Is that possible, can that happen?"  So of course I had to Google it.  Turns out the nurse measured wrong.  Good thing.

When my husband went through his fainting phase.  The doctor said, "It happens."  No explanation.  So again, I Googled it.  Turns out, in some people pain triggers shock.  The bigger they are the harder they fall.  Oh, and believe me, I have stories.

When teacher's were concerned Rio had ADHD.  I wasn't having it.  Where did I turn.  First the Internet, then the doctor. Apparently high energy is a symptom of many mental illnesses.  The final diagnosis...he's a boy.

When my doctor told me I had Lupus.  Pretty much out of the blue!  It was all I could do.  Every time I passed the office, I had to look it up.  Searching for a different explanation.  Link by link.  Turns out he was wrong also. 

There's just one thing, with every problem I solve, the Internet gives me three more possible illnesses I never considered.  Brain tumors, cancer, and PTSD. 

Boy, do doctors love me.