Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Library Cards

Rio needed to research Chinese Alligators for his endangered species report. Which made it the perfect time to take my kids to the library to get their very own library cards.

"Hi, how can I help you?" the librarian behind the return desk asked as she motioned for me to sit down in front of her.

"My kids would like to get their own library cards," I informed her.

"Okay, I just need to see their school ID cards," she said pleasantly.

I looked over at Amaya and Rio, and back at the librarian confused. "They're ten and seven," I pointed out the obvious. "They don't have school ID cards."

"All schools issue ID cards, ma'am," she said implying I was stupid.

Of course I had to correct her. The librarian then informed me of the new criteria for library card holders. She would need to see something with their name on it. The names written inside their jackets wouldn't do.

"Do they have a state issued ID card?" she asked.

I raised my eyebrows. "Again, they're kids. They don't have a State issued ID card." I spoke slowly so she would understand. I rummaged through my purse. "How about their insurance cards?"

"No, sorry, we can't accept those," she apologized.

I received the same answer when I inquired about the legitimacy of presenting their social security cards or their Smile Safe Kids card issued by the school.

"Do you have their Birth Certificates?" she asked.

"Sure...oh...wait..." I snapped my fingers. "I must of left them in my other purse along with my marriage license and bank statements," I teased sarcastically.

I thanked the librarian for my next blog topic. She didn't return the gratitude. Instead, she defended her position, and public library policies, by filling me in on an evil sneaky ring of parents, that have dozens of library cards issued to children that don't exist! Used with the intent to defraud the library! "So," she told me, "Being a tax payer, you should be grateful, it's your tax dollars we're protecting."

Clearly we were in the fiction section of the library.


  1. OMG! You make me laugh! Maybe they would of expected a DNA sample? That's crazy!

  2. So, perhaps the secretary of Rio's school would be able to provide for you, on district letterhead, a one sentence letter: "Contrary to the information given at the Vacaville Public Library, we do not issue Student ID Cards at (name of school) ." You could present it to the librarian when you return the books that I assume you checked out using YOUR library card .... if, of course, you had proper identification!


  3. All high schools might issue ID cards, but elementary schools? Geez!

  4. She cares more about the library than the kids.
    I have heard of bad people stealing the socials of children and ruining their lives, but not that it would hurt a book.

  5. Why are the card makin' folk at the library always so freaking self-absorbed? Perhaps if you did not have LIVE HUMAN CHILDREN in her presence, she could wonder if they were in fact real, but seeing as you *did*, the fictional children excuse just don't fly with me. Pleasant.

  6. Some people and policies are just unbelievable. They have a purpose, but sometimes it goes too far. A library card? Really? Unbelievable!

  7. Very funny-but really very sad. What's this world coming to?

    My first book is on amazon. Sh Sh Sh Let the Baby Sleep

  8. Hey Nikki, way to encourage kids to use the library, right? lol

    I actually stopped by to say 'thank you' for your support during my A-Z blogging month. I've created a fun "no strings attached" blog award for you and all of the other awesome bloggers who offered feedback and encouragement.

    You can view the award and my thank you note here:

    Hope you are well and that I see you around in the future!


  9. Wow! This stinks twofold : that the kids need a license, WTH? And 2: that parents are robbing libraries in this manner!

  10. lol....I love it! It's amazing how ridiculous some things are!