Got Beer?

My husband came home from work to our kids swimming with their cousins in the front yard.  That's right, you read correctly. We have a fifteen foot pop-up pool in our courtyard. My brother was waiting for him with beer.

"Do you have enough beer?" I asked my brother as he walked up the side stairs entering the courtyard.

"Well, I figured you never let Orlando buy any, so I brought him some," he teased.

"Yeah, sorry. It's a vitamin water household," I told him. "No room in the fridge for beer."

Seems the word has traveled around the neighborhood. 
Poor Orlando...his wife never buys beer.

My husband disappears to get the mail from our box up the street, then returns an hour later with a beer can, courtesy of house number four. If he has to run to the bank, he returns with a cocktail, courtesy of house number six. 

"I don't know what's taking Orlando so long?" I complained to my friend over the phone, who lives around the corner. "He only went to buy dog food."

"He's not at the store, he's with my husband," she laughs. "They're in the garage having a beer!"

Am I missing something here?  Oh yeah, BEER!

My Memories Giveaway

I know, lately my blog posts have been sporadic. More sporadic than usual that is. I've been busy! Busy playing with my new Digital Scrapbooking software.  It's awesome!  I may never pick up scissors or use double stick tape again. 

I have over 8,000 photos organized in storage bins, shoved in the back of my closet, waiting to be put into albums. Crazy, right? Worse I have over 20,000 photos waiting to be downloaded off memory cards.  I mean really...who has the time?

This scrapbooking software is fast, simple, easy, affordable, and most important it has saved me a ton of time!

So far I've made four albums, two wall photos; complete with inspirational sayings, and invitations for Rio's Birthday party.  However, I'm most proud of the Disney Character autograph book I made for my kids for our next trip to Disneyland. The My Memories Suite 2 is by far the most user friendly software I have installed on my computer. Check out my project below.

And guess what! My Memories gave me Digital Scrapbooking Software to give away to one of my lucky followers. FOR FREE!

How 2 Enter

To enter Giveaway you MUST follow THIS blog via Google Friend Connect.  Click the "Follow" button on my side bar to get started. Then leave a comment on this post telling me how far behind you are with your photos. Because misery loves company. That's it!

Want 5 Extra Chances to Win?

Extra Entry 1: Visit http://www.mymemories.com/ then come back here and tell me which digital paper pack was your favorite.
Extra Entry 2: Follow me on Twitter, @rsnmarshmallows
Extra Entry 3: Share this post on Facebook
Extra Entry 4: Blog about this Giveaway
Extra Entry 5: Share this post on Twitter

It's all in the DETAILS!

~Leave a separate comment for each entry.

~Winner will be drawn June 30th, 2011 @ 9:00pm PST

~If I can't reach you through your GFC email, check back here on Friday, July 1st. You'll have 72 hours to claim your prize. 

Added Bonus!

My Memories is also offering my readers a $10 discount on their purchase of My Memories Suite v2 Software! Copy and paste the promo code STMMMS85042 in the promotional code field on the shopping cart page. The software also comes with another $10 coupon for downloads. That's $20 in discounts! This offer will expire in 10 days.


Megan You Won!
winner chosen through random.org

Swimming

Aside from swimming at our house every single day this summer, my kids have managed to hit up two other neighbors and use their pools.

Rio shows off his acrobatic water skills, by jumping, flipping and diving. While Amaya cheers him on swimming a stroke we have deemed The Drowning Porpoise.

"Swimming is the best part of summer!" Amaya shared while we were walking home from a neighbor's house late last night. "I love it!"

"I'm swimming again tomorrow. As soon as I wake up!" Rio declared.

That is...if he ever wakes up.

It's 10:30am and Rio is still asleep.

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Good Trade

Little boys are messy. I think it's in their nature to be complete slobs. Or maybe it's just Rio. Either way, cleaning his room turns into quite the scavenger hunt.

There are three things I am guaranteed to find while inspecting the room he swore he cleaned. Dried out apple cores decomposing under his bed, sunflower seeds hidden inside his pillow case, and half chewed up foam darts scattered on the floor. Sometimes I think he's really a puppy.

Rio insisted there's too much stuff, and he doesn't know where to put it. So in attempts to give him more space I made an offer he couldn't refuse.

"Rio, why don't you get rid of some of your Buzz Lightyears?" I asked.

He looked at me and shook his head, "No way, Mom!"

"They look pretty beat up," I tried to persuade him, while examining his toys. "How about this," I offered, "I'll trade you."

"Trade me for what?" His interest was triggered.

"If you throw out the old ones...I'll buy you a brand new one," I bartered.

It worked out better than I planned.

I have a feeling my tactics are not going to be received as well in Amaya's room.

Schools Out!

The last day of school was always the best day of school when I was growing up.  But there's only so much pressure Rio can take, so he had his usual end of the school year melt down.

The kids hop in the backseat and shove their report cards in my face, eager for me to review them. I take my time reading every mark and notation while they hold their breath.

"Mom...did I pass?" Rio breaks the silence.

"Yup," I told him, as I folded the report cards and placed them inside my purse.

"Ah, good. That means I'm a third grader," he sighed with relief.

"I know I passed," Amaya stated. "I already peeked at mine."

"Great year you guys, I'm proud of you both," I praised them as I pulled away from the school.

"Mom? Do I have to go to college?" Rio asked reluctantly.

"It depends on what you want to do when you get older," I told him.

One minute later, Amaya informed me Rio was in tears.

"What's wrong Rio?" I asked through the rear view mirror.

"I'm not ready to leave home..." Rio sobbed.

I promised him I wouldn't kick him out just yet.

Reptiles, Lizards, and Snakes, Oh My!

Once again we were lost on our way to The Academy of Sciences. The first time my husband drove around for three hours, holding us hostage, trying to find the Museum. When the kids and I were finally able to convince him to pull over, get directions, and admit he had no idea where it was...the one person he chose to ask didn't speak English.  It was quite an adventure. 

Seems he has the same sort of luck with google maps.

The planetarium was the top priority since the passes were gone the last visit.  But the highlight was the new snake and lizard exhibit. 

"Mom, we should get one of those for our house!" Rio referred to a lizard the size of a large dog.

Amaya was more interested in the large Boa Constrictor.

"What does that eat?" She asked contemplating the probability of it's diet including little brothers.



I had to crush both of their reptile dreams.
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Protect the Goalie!

The first store was closed. The second store didn't have what I was looking for. By the time we arrived at the third store the excitement of another camera purchase almost passed.

Thanks to the knowledgeable camera rep, the third store ended up being quite successful.  Aside from a hint that the Canon 7D may find its way under the Christmas tree, the three hour visit ended with a bribe of six balloons; along with a pocket camera, memory card, bag, battery, and  video game purchase.

"Wow!" I told my husband when we got in the car. "The kids were really good in the store, I'm impressed."

"Babe, are you kidding me?" My husband laughed. "I was the blocker! They would come at you and I'd kick them back into play."

"You were protecting your goalie!" I laughed hysterically as I returned to reality. "You're right, that sounds more accurate. Great teamwork!"

Just one of many ways my husband keeps me sane.

Library Cards

Rio needed to research Chinese Alligators for his endangered species report. Which made it the perfect time to take my kids to the library to get their very own library cards.

"Hi, how can I help you?" the librarian behind the return desk asked as she motioned for me to sit down in front of her.

"My kids would like to get their own library cards," I informed her.

"Okay, I just need to see their school ID cards," she said pleasantly.

I looked over at Amaya and Rio, and back at the librarian confused. "They're ten and seven," I pointed out the obvious. "They don't have school ID cards."

"All schools issue ID cards, ma'am," she said implying I was stupid.

Of course I had to correct her. The librarian then informed me of the new criteria for library card holders. She would need to see something with their name on it. The names written inside their jackets wouldn't do.

"Do they have a state issued ID card?" she asked.

I raised my eyebrows. "Again, they're kids. They don't have a State issued ID card." I spoke slowly so she would understand. I rummaged through my purse. "How about their insurance cards?"

"No, sorry, we can't accept those," she apologized.

I received the same answer when I inquired about the legitimacy of presenting their social security cards or their Smile Safe Kids card issued by the school.

"Do you have their Birth Certificates?" she asked.

"Sure...oh...wait..." I snapped my fingers. "I must of left them in my other purse along with my marriage license and bank statements," I teased sarcastically.

I thanked the librarian for my next blog topic. She didn't return the gratitude. Instead, she defended her position, and public library policies, by filling me in on an evil sneaky ring of parents, that have dozens of library cards issued to children that don't exist! Used with the intent to defraud the library! "So," she told me, "Being a tax payer, you should be grateful, it's your tax dollars we're protecting."

Clearly we were in the fiction section of the library.

Butter

I've been making some positive life changes.  Most recently I've sworn off sugar.  The downside of cutting out sugar is that I've replaced it with butter.

"We use a lot of butter.  Have you noticed?"  My husband inquired.

I shrugged my shoulders indifferent to his observation.

"How many cubes of butter have you eaten today?"  He asked, confirming he was implying I have a problem.

"Um...I don't know...three?"  I answered.

"Maybe we shouldn't buy butter in bulk," he suggested. "What do you think?"

"Nonsense!" I dismissed his absurd suggestion.

I really don't see the problem.  It's my belief, that if you pair butter with an artichoke, it cancels out the butter. This logic can also be applied to salmon, asparagus, shrimp, crab, lobster, baked potatoes and popcorn. 

Clearly, I'm in denial.

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Gold Rush

Fourth graders are learning about the California Gold Rush. The subject has enthused Amaya to the point of planning future trips to Sutter's Mill to search for gold. But it hasn't motivated her enough to answer any questions correctly on the worksheets sent home or the reading test she had taken. 

She knows one thing...there was GOLD. I suppose that's the most important detail.

The best part of learning about the California Gold rush, getting to participate in an interactive assembly panning for gold. For a small fee.

"Mom! I found a piece of gold at the assembly today!" Amaya announced with excitement while pulling a piece of binder paper from her backpack. "I got to keep it!" Then she pointed to all of her pencil sketches on how to pan for gold.

"Where's the gold you found?" I asked.

"It's right there." She pointed to a small sketch in the upper right corner of her paper with a piece of tape over it.

"Where?"

"Right there!" She pointed again.

I squinted my eyes to focus. "Oh," I said smiling.

"This piece of gold is worth two dollars!" she informed me. "And it only cost seven dollars!"

Yup! It was the deal of a lifetime.

 

The Haircut

Tuesday night Rio informed me that his hair was way too long.  I agreed.  So I trimmed it for him.

"Mom...are you almost done?" he complained standing in the middle of the bathtub.

"Almost," I stalled, as I trimmed the back of his head. "Hold on," I diverted as I attempted to cut his unforgiving hair. "Okay..." Each cut lead to another cut.  After the front and back were trimmed, my confidence with the scissors grew and I went for the layers. "I got it!"

I stood back and looked proudly at my masterpiece. I put my fingers on top of his head and shagged his hair. I must say, his hair looked pretty darn good. WET!  But when it dried, it was obvious, I'm not a professional. 

"Rio, come in here," I said, guiding him by his hand into my bathroom.

"Oh, no...not more mom," Rio pleaded as he stood on top of the toilet.

"Real quick!" I promised.  "You can't go to school like that."  I took out the scissors and cut more. Someone should have stopped me.

"Are you done yet?" Rio asked.  "I know, hold on, okay, you got it," he laughed as he imitated me.

Feeling guilty for what I had done, I called my husband in for approval.  He didn't let me off the hook, instead he glared at me with eyes that asked Why? What have you done to his hair?  

"Oh come on!  It's not that bad!" I lied.

So I'm that mom! The mom who sends her child to school after butchering their hair.

"Did anyone notice your hair today at school?" I asked reluctantly.

"No, nothing, no one," he answered. "But I did get some funny looks," he confirmed my fears.

I took him for a real haircut immediately. 

When the girl at the salon looked at me funny...I blamed my husband.

Coupon for Mom

The most popular gifts in my house are hand made coupons. 

I've received the following coupons from Amaya and Rio, good for: I will clean my room, I will take out the trash, I will feed the dog, and I will watch T.V with you...to list a few.  All coupons for the things they do anyway, so I find these coupons amusing.

The most recent coupon was from Amaya, good for: Any lunch or dinner out of your choice for FREE!  I immediately put it inside my purse, swearing it would come to good use the next time the opportunity presented itself.

"You went to Togo's for lunch today Mom?" Amaya inquired.

"Yeah...why?" I asked.

"Well, did you use your coupon?"  Amaya asked urgently.

"No, I was by myself," I told her.

"Oh...well you can use it when ever you want." She then disclosed the coupon's terms for me. "It's an endless coupon, I can make more."

For weeks I've been interrogated by Amaya, regarding the dinner out coupon.  Have I used it, when will I use it, why didn't I use it?

Her questions have me asking my own questions.  Why would I use the coupon if I'm alone and does she think it actually has value? 

"She can't think it's a real coupon, right?" I asked my husband. "She's ten. She has to know the difference."

"I don't know?  She's ten and look how she spelled coupon," he pointed out.

 This might be a problem.
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Baby Mail

The mail arrived the other day just as it arrives everyday, minus Sunday. 

"BOX FULL! Please empty your mailbox." Were the instructions written on an orange postal service notice taped to my front door.

The mailbox was packed of the usual...bills, fliers, coupons, catalogues, ads, and junk mail.  What was unusual were the three pieces of baby mail shoved inside.

"This is random?" I thought as I quickly thumbed threw my mail, walking away from my mailbox. "A baby magazine? Hmm..."  I dismissed the magazine. It was obviously delivered to me in error.

I dumped the pile of mail on the kitchen table and began sorting it into the usual piles. Bills, coupons, ads, and trash.  That's when I came across baby magazine number two.

"What the heck!"  I said to myself.  "Whose mail is this?"  I inspected the white bar coded address boxes in the bottom left corners.  They both read: Nicole Garcia. I also received a welcome packet from Similac. No...I'm not expecting.

My husband walked in the door.

"I see you got the mail," he stated as he read the orange postal notice left by our mailman. "It says we have a large envelope or magazine to pick up," he informed me. "You want me to go get it?"

"No...if it's anything like what was delivered," I handed him the baby mail, "they can keep it!"

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Happy Mother's Day

Whose Dog Peed on my Lawn?

I've been watering the brown spots on my lawn for the past two weeks like a crazy person.

"Come look at this!" I demanded, dragging my husband to the front yard to inspect the grass.  "Someone's been letting their dog pee all over our lawn."

"What the..." my husband stated.

"There's one...two...three...four...five," I paced across the front yard pointing each one out. "There's like 30 brown spots!" I ranted.

"I wonder which neighbor it is?" he asked.

The kids immediately shared their suspicions. They accused the old man down the street with the two chihuahuas, the lady who jogs at night with her black lab, another neighbor with one white dog and one brown dog, and a wiener dog that was ruled out because it's too fat to waddle up the grassy slope to pee.  All other dogs and owners however, were suspects.

"When I find out who's doing this, I'm walking Max down to their house so he can pee on their lawn." I declared.

The kids helped by setting up look out posts to catch the peeing perpetrator. 

"DOG!" Rio yelled. "Don't let your dog pee on my moms grass." Rio warned people when they passed our house, as Amaya ran to the front corner to watch dog and owner until they were clear of our property.

"Nope, it's not them!" Amaya reported.

Then while watering yesterday I noticed something odd in the center of one of our many dead patches of grass. A shriveled up, dead weed. That's when it hit me. I called my husband out front to discuss the yard.

"You know the dogs that have been destroying our lawn?" I hinted.

"Yeah, what about them?" he asked.

"It's not dogs at all," I informed him. "It's you!"

"Me?" he asked as if I was accusing him of peeing on our lawn.

"A couple weeks ago, you sprayed weed killer around the sidewalks and planters..." I tried to trigger his memory. "Did you happen to use it on the weeds in the lawn also?"

"Oh, that's right I did," he admitted, laughing. "I forgot!"

"You do realize it says weed and grass killer on the bottle?" I asked.

He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Apparently the joke's on me.